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Dealing With Other People's Pregnancy Announcements

I Know The Feeling...
It is frustrating to want to be pregnant and feel like everyone in the world is but you. I've been on both sides. The side of wanting to be pregnant and having no children of my own. And the other side of trying to become pregnant after having a child. On both sides, it can be hard to hear all the announcements. When I was newly married, I wanted to try to have kids after six months of marriage. But my husband wanted to wait a year or so to be more settled as a married couple. We were still deciding when would be the best time. Our church that we ended up going to was for the married and college couples in our religion. I am not kidding when I say almost every woman was pregnant and/or pregnant with other children, except for about three of us women. How was I suppose to concentrate on finding the right time, if I was waiting for a year of marriage or more ? And in that year or more all I saw was pregnant bumps and babies every time I walked into that building for three hours once a week for church. Three hours is a long time to think about wanting a baby. Plus before our one year mark, I got my diagnosis of Endometriosis (a fertility issue), which terrified me that I would never have kids. When I was trying for baby number 2 while breastfeeding baby 1, I had a friend with a child the same age as me. Her baby was born in the same month and year. She got pregnant while breastfeeding, miscarried, and then became pregnant again. In the meantime, I had to wait a long time for my  postpartum period to return (17 months postpartum) and irregular cycles when it did. My gynecologist was telling me I was going to have to wean and three months after weaning if I was not pregnant he would prescribe me Clomid but would offer me no help while breastfeeding. I was torn between breastfeeding my toddler until we were both ready to wean or wean so I could become pregnant.I felt a little like wow, some women can get pregnant while breastfeeding multiple times and it seems like I can't even get pregnant once while breastfeeding. This time I am trying to a third child and ten or so people were/are pregnant, including 4 friends I know very well. Two of my husband's cousins, one of my sister in laws. Not only were there announcements, but baby showers I had to attend for relatives.  

Sometimes It Gets Easier...
I'd like to say it gets easier, but it just depends on what other things are going on in your life. The more distractions you have, sometimes the less time you have to dwell on the lack of progress in becoming pregnant. The more I concentrated on other goals in my control and focused on enjoying my children's birthdays and the holidays with my little family and extended family the less time I spent focused on my disappointment each cycle. When my focus was on enjoying the blessings I already have, not the blessings I still wanted to have there was more balance.


Don't Judge A Pregnancy Announcement By Its Cover...
I knew a woman who wasn't pregnant, been married for a while (a few years before me) and didn't have any kids. I always wondered if she couldn't or didn't want any right away. It wasn't until later after having my first i learned she was having issues with becoming pregnant, had a miscarriage or two before she finally was blessed with twins. I could have easily assumed all this time they were just waiting to buy a house, to get into a better place in life. Because they celebrated several years of marriage, bought a house and then were expecting twins. Everything seemed to be going perfectly. However, I have no idea if those twins were a result of fertility drugs, fertility procedure or if they occurred naturally. This just goes to show you that looking at a pregnancy announcement is just seeing the ending result of someone's trying to conceive journey, not the process it took to get to that place.

 Take Home Point...
No matter how many children you have, how long you have been trying or how happy you are for others - sometimes it's just hard to want a pregnancy of your own and watch others become pregnant. I also think when we are in that trying to conceive season in our lives, we naturally notice just how many women are pregnant, the baby shower invites, and Facebook announcements more than if we're not in that frame of mind. Good Luck On Your Journey... Hugs to everyone struggling to get pregnant. Baby dust to everyone trying to become pregnant. Last, but not least, best wishes in pregnancy and motherhood for those who have conceived. Last Edited: December 4, 2018
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