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Erotica, Women and Marriage By Juli Slattery, Dannah Gresh and Pam Wood

One of my sources is the article, Erotica, Women, and Marriage, by Juli Slattery, Dannah Gresh and Pam Woody from www.focusonthefamily.com. To give you a little background, "Dannah Gresh, and Dr. Juli Slattery wrote, Pulling Back The Shades: Erotica, Intimacy and the Longings of a Woman's Heart to expose the lure of erotica found in Fifty Shades of Grey. These authors warn that although women love a great romance escape, how a woman chooses to escape can actually prove to be dangerous to her marriage." I heard these interesting quotes about erotica, from Juli, "Erotica, like 'Fifty Shades' is fantasy, because it subtly ask you to assume a different reality." From, Dannah, "The fantasy of erotica inspires one thing - the longing for more. Instead of satisfying your longing, it will awaken, manipulate and deepen them."

They also address 5 longings of women, you'll have to read the article to get more information on the longings here, but I have listed the 5 longings below:

1. Women long to escape reality
2. Women long to be cherished by a man
3. Women long to be protected by a strong man
4. Women long to rescue a man
5. Women long to be sexually alive

In the article, they also address that couples understandingly have questions about what is acceptable in the bedroom. They feel those questions can be filtered through the following 4 questions:
  • Is it beneficial?
  • Does it master me?
  • Is it constructive?
  • Is it loving?

It also addresses that there are some spiritual black and white rules that should be refrained from:
  • Incest
  • Fornication
  • Adultery 
Juli and Dannah write, "Reading erotica, like viewing pornography may lead to an intense sexual reaction, but the characters are one-dimensional lies. With each page of erotica or image of porn, evil is reinforcing the lie that is sex is just about physical pleasures." Dannah explains, "Erotica puts undue emphasis on the physical and disables your ability to connect emotionally.  No matter how much you may want to believe the Red Room of Pain will bring the high you are seeking, it's much more likely to destroy your bedroom."

If you're tempted by Erotica the article suggests changing your appetites when it comes to intimacy and sexuality. Juli says, "If you're feeding your mind and spirit these things that are unreal (pornography, erotica)  you need to cut all of that off so the appetite is not being fed." Once the appetite is starved then you can work on your relationship.

It also reminds us that sex in a marriage is sacred.


Bibliography
Slattery, Juli, Dannah Gresh, and Pam Wood. "Erotica, Women and Marriage." Focus On The Family. Juli Slattery, Dannah Gresh, Focus on The Family, n.d. Web. 15 Nov. 2015. <http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex-and-intimacy/erotica-women-and-marriage/erotica-women-and-marriage>.
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