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Becoming Celestial Soul Mates (Love)


  • What is Love
The author gives an exercise to write down your definition of love. I know what love is and even my own ideas of what I think it is, but I actually found it difficult to articulate it right away. I had to really think about what I think love is. My definition of love is an emotion that is unconditional, forgiving, and accepting that you feel for your spouse, children, relatives, and others you care about. He then says, "Even though we find many different variations on the word love, most people agree it is some sort of feeling...I suggest that love is more than an emotion or feeling...Love as just a feeling has two fallacies. First, it suggests that is a passive state that we "fall into" or "out of". Second, it suggests that it must be stimulated or initiated by some external event...If love were an emotion, it too would be temporary and transient, here today and gone tomorrow... it must be more than a simple emotion."

  • Love Is More Than An Emotion
"Love is a belief that leads to behaviors that conform to that belief...Love is not just an emotional state. It is not something that comes and goes according to how I am feeling that day." This reminds me of the song Love is Not A Fight by Warren Barfield. If you have not heard this song, to listen to it click here. Some of the lyrics reflect   how as a society we believe love is just an emotion:

Love is not a place to come and go as we please,
It's a house we enter in and commit to never leave...
Some love is a word that they can fall into,
but when they're falling out, keeping that word is hard to do.
  •  Our Misconceptions About Love
"Nothing is required of us...Because we perceive love as something to feel, this feeling is dependent on someone or something else...if you do something for me, the emotion is triggered, I will feel love, and then I will do something for you... I will love you and, therefore, will do something for you based on what you do for me. If you do nothing for me, I will not love you...Rarely is a belief strong enough to change a behavior...Behaviors, for the most part, govern beliefs."

  • How To Feel Love
"Love is proactive. If I want to feel more love, I need to give more to my beloved...Love is a service. The more I serve, the more I feel love...If we desire change in our spouse, it is by changing ourselves that will achieve it...If what we do or say inhibits the growth of our mate, it is not love...To increase our love, we must try to satisfy the needs of the person we love and stimulate her growth. The more we do for that person, the better we feel about him."
- Bibliography -
Cole, Trafford R. Becoming Celestial Soul Mates: Ten Golden Rules for a Richer Relationship. Springville, UT: CFI, 2006. Print. Pages 1-10.
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