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What's Allowed Sexually?

This can be a hard topic to cover. However, it is important to openly discuss things in a healthy and safe way that apply to marriages and questions or concerns couples may have about intimacy. It seems many religious couples want to know "the rules" of intimacy. Part of the reason for this is because there aren't tons of open discussion about intimacy and there is a discomfort some have with discerning things for ourselves.

 TCW says, "We'd really like to create such a list that could settle once and forever the niggling doubts about sexual practices. But that's not possible. Different communities of Christians have different understandings about sexual practices that are based on a few general biblical principles. No list would be accepted by all Christians"  ().

The following can be found in articles, such as The Marriage Bed's What's Okay? What's Not?



Some Things That Are Sex Myths Among Christians
  • Christians should not enjoy sex
  • Sex is only for procreation
  • Your spouse should just know what you want
  • The husband should always initiate sex

 The Religious Rules That Help Guide Intimacy
This may not cover everything, but seem to be the most common quoted from The Holy Bible.
1. No Fornication (sex outside of marriage)
2. No Adultery (sex with someone other than your spouse)
3. No Homosexuality (sex with someone of the same sex)
4. No Bestiality (sex with animals)
5. No Incest (sex with a blood relative)
6. No Prostitution (payment for sex)
7. No Rape (sex without consent)
8. Do not allow yourself to be controlled by anything (addictions, fetishes)


Things That Are Generally Accepted Among Some Christians
I can't say most or all since every couple is different with what they believe is appropriate in their marriage bed.
  • Manual Stimulation
  • Oral Sex 
  • Sex During Menstruation 
  • Certain Sex Toys (if it enhances, not becomes the focus)
  • Occasional Mutual Masturbation (not a frequent alternative)
  • Sexual Body Massages
  • Different Positions

Appropriate Sexual Enhancements for Some Christians
  • Satin Sheets
  • Scented Candles
  • Mirrors
  • Lubricants 
  • Massage Oils
  • Rose Petals (real or fake)
  • Love Coupons


Things That Are Generally Not Accepted Among Many Christians
I can't say most or all since every couple is different with what they believe is appropriate in their marriage bed.
  • Erotica
  • Erotic Asphyxiation
  • Open Marriages / Polygamy  
  • Public Nudity 
  • Pornography
  • Role Playing As Other People
  • Fetishes
  • Swinging / Swapping (Adultery)
  • Bringing in An Extra Person(s) / Threesomes, Foursomes... (Adultery)
  • Sex Machines
  • Sex Toys Molded After Real People
  • Self Masturbation Without Spouse Present Or Their Knowledge
`

- Bibliography -

 Byerly, Paul H. "SEX TOYS." The Marriage Bed. The Marriage Bed Inc, 8 Feb. 2010. Web. 5 Dec. 2015. <http://site.themarriagebed.com/sexuality/sexual-play/lubricants-and-toys>.

 Byerly, Paul & Lori. "WHAT'S OKAY? WHAT'S NOT?" The Marriage Bed. The Marriage Bed Inc, 8 Feb. 2010. Web. 6 Jan. 2016. <http://site.themarriagebed.com/sexuality/sexual-play/whats-okay-whats-not#toys>.

Michael and Wanda. "Sex in the Bible » Christian Marriage Today." Christian Marriage Today. Christian Marriage Today, 26 Mar. 2015. Web. 06 Jan. 2016. <http://www.christian-marriage-today.com/sex-in-the-bible.html>.

http://christiannymphos.org/2008/08/20/spanking-for-pleasure/
http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2008/september/christian-sex-rules.html?start=2
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