I had been feeling a dull pain in my side all day. But tonight, it was feeling worst. The best way I can describe it is a sharp stabbing pain. I’m lying on the couch barely watching the television. I am trying to find any position to help me get comfortable. I’ve applied a heating pad to my back. Nothing is really working.
I keep looking at the clock. Midnight. 1 am. 2 am. It’s 3 am. I’m telling myself to hold out longer. Resist the urge to call the midwives. This doesn’t feel like labor. Labor has always felt like a wave rising and falling. Coming and going. This just feels like an uncomfortable pain in my side.
I’m crying. My husband is by my side. He says it’s time to call the midwives. The pain isn’t getting better. My fear is I’ll have to go to the hospital. Can’t we wait a little longer? Maybe 6 am? It's only 3 am. Give the midwives more time to sleep.
I know he is torn, but insists we call. I begrudgingly call. I don’t know why I’m calling. I don’t think I’m in labor. I don’t feel like I’m in labor. But there is a pain in my side. I try to explain through the crying. The midwife asks me to pass the phone, she can’t understand what I am saying. Am I crying that much?
My husband tries to explain what has been happening.
The midwives are coming. It’s time to set up. My husband moves the children upstairs. Ten minutes later, I hear the knock. They’re here. There is no turning back. I want to turn back. I am afraid this home birth is over before its started. I can feel it.
It’s kind of a blur. I remember lying on the bed. We did the cervical check. Only 4 cm. I’m disappointed. I wanted it to be more. I can’t feel any contractions. I’m not in active labor as far as they can tell.
It’s kind of a blur. I remember lying on the bed. We did the cervical check. Only 4 cm. I’m disappointed. I wanted it to be more. I can’t feel any contractions. I’m not in active labor as far as they can tell.
The heartbeat is present and strong. They can’t find anything wrong.
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