I do understand the conflict, on wean or not wean. Trying to conceive is different than Trying to conceive while nursing. There are added challenges. I was able to eventually become pregnant with my 2nd while nursing my 1st. My first child was 26 months month when I became pregnant with my 2nd and postpartum menstrual came back at 17 months postpartum.
I had originally hoped to have my first two children 2 years apart. And when my first was 9 months old we began Trying to conceive. So we tried for 8 months and 1 week before my postpartum menstrual came. I have not been able to catch any first eggs because it seems I don't actually ovulate during my first postpartum menstrual.
I thought about weaning my daughter, but the doubts plagued me. What if it still takes a long time to become pregnant, what if I miscarry and I don't even have that nursing bond at least? It was conflicting to think of weaning for a baby that didn't exist, and who knew when would exist. I weaned my daughter who was 30 months when I was 22 weeks pregnant with my 2nd due to nipple sensitivity because nursing became extremely uncomfortable / painful even.
It was hard on me emotionally. I felt guilty for taking something away, even though she would have been turning 3 years old, 6 months later and considering how many mothers don't make it to the first year, some, not even 6 months - 2.5 years was pretty darn good and she was only nursing 1x a day.
However, every time she would ask if she doesn't nurse anymore, it would cause a small ache and a thought that maybe she was weaned before she was ready and I had wished that I had continued to nurse until she didn't want it or try to tandem if I could have made it to that point. I think I also feel that way because my husband really pushed for her to stop co-sleeping with us, to stop nursing before the baby came. He felt like I would be overwhelmed, and nursing two children (a toddler and a newborn) would make the transition from one to two more difficult because I would be constantly be nursing. So I guess, that adds to me looking back with regret - even though I didn't wean from breastfeeding because my husband was uncomfortable with the idea of tandem nursing, but due to the nipple sensitivity. And really also due to the lack of knowledge and support of how to overcome the nipple sensitivity. At the time, I hardly knew many mothers who could breastfeed to a year, much less practicing extended breastfeeding (breastfeeding past the first year) and many were pumping for 6-12 months only or offering formula.
The worrying was premature. I feel like the adjustment from one to two was far easier than none to one. None to one changed us from a family of two, a couple to being parents. One to two, we had already experienced almost three years of being parents. There were only a few differences, as far as gender and how we choose to parent.
The one thing I learned is weaning can be so emotional and bittersweet, just as any of the other baby / toddler stages kids eventually leaves behind. And I've heard many moms struggle with this. I struggle with it and I continued nursing instead of weaning to get pregnant, nursed through pregnancy until I was so uncomfortable and not enough nipple cream could save me from the discomfort and pain. It also makes me think as moms, we can be so hard on ourselves. We are usually doing the best we can and we give ourselves less of the credit we deserve for all we have done. We often are looking at everything we didn't / couldn't do instead.
I had originally hoped to have my first two children 2 years apart. And when my first was 9 months old we began Trying to conceive. So we tried for 8 months and 1 week before my postpartum menstrual came. I have not been able to catch any first eggs because it seems I don't actually ovulate during my first postpartum menstrual.
I thought about weaning my daughter, but the doubts plagued me. What if it still takes a long time to become pregnant, what if I miscarry and I don't even have that nursing bond at least? It was conflicting to think of weaning for a baby that didn't exist, and who knew when would exist. I weaned my daughter who was 30 months when I was 22 weeks pregnant with my 2nd due to nipple sensitivity because nursing became extremely uncomfortable / painful even.
It was hard on me emotionally. I felt guilty for taking something away, even though she would have been turning 3 years old, 6 months later and considering how many mothers don't make it to the first year, some, not even 6 months - 2.5 years was pretty darn good and she was only nursing 1x a day.
However, every time she would ask if she doesn't nurse anymore, it would cause a small ache and a thought that maybe she was weaned before she was ready and I had wished that I had continued to nurse until she didn't want it or try to tandem if I could have made it to that point. I think I also feel that way because my husband really pushed for her to stop co-sleeping with us, to stop nursing before the baby came. He felt like I would be overwhelmed, and nursing two children (a toddler and a newborn) would make the transition from one to two more difficult because I would be constantly be nursing. So I guess, that adds to me looking back with regret - even though I didn't wean from breastfeeding because my husband was uncomfortable with the idea of tandem nursing, but due to the nipple sensitivity. And really also due to the lack of knowledge and support of how to overcome the nipple sensitivity. At the time, I hardly knew many mothers who could breastfeed to a year, much less practicing extended breastfeeding (breastfeeding past the first year) and many were pumping for 6-12 months only or offering formula.
The worrying was premature. I feel like the adjustment from one to two was far easier than none to one. None to one changed us from a family of two, a couple to being parents. One to two, we had already experienced almost three years of being parents. There were only a few differences, as far as gender and how we choose to parent.
The one thing I learned is weaning can be so emotional and bittersweet, just as any of the other baby / toddler stages kids eventually leaves behind. And I've heard many moms struggle with this. I struggle with it and I continued nursing instead of weaning to get pregnant, nursed through pregnancy until I was so uncomfortable and not enough nipple cream could save me from the discomfort and pain. It also makes me think as moms, we can be so hard on ourselves. We are usually doing the best we can and we give ourselves less of the credit we deserve for all we have done. We often are looking at everything we didn't / couldn't do instead.
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