Do I Have To Wean To Become Pregnant?

• Introduction

Welcome. First let me tell you that you are not alone and not the first breastfeeding mother to ponder this. There are so many moms in the same boat, especially on online forums and / or local breastfeeding groups in your area. If you join any, you will hear plenty of experiences, get support, and helpful advice to help you better make decisions.

• Will I Have To Wean In Order To Become Pregnant?

No one can answer whether you will become pregnant while breastfeeding or not by just looking at you - this also applies to doctors. Now, before you think that sounds crazy, think of it this way. No one will be able to tell your fertility story before you start the journey and say exactly, this is how many cycles it will take you to become pregnant, this is how many miscarriages you might have or failed rounds of fertility meds or procedures. It is different for every woman, that is what my survey, Breastfeeding Chart: To Wean Or Not Wean by verbal response showed. Some women may have to wean from breastfeeding while others do not. And you won't know which one you are until you start trying. 

I was told by the Gynecologist who performed my laparoscopy and diagnosed me with Stage 1 Endometriosis before conceiving my first child when I was trying to conceive my second while breastfeeding my first, that I would have to wean in order to become pregnant. Yet, I have become pregnant twice while breastfeeding. Had I listen to this Gynecologist's advice blindly without questioning, pondering and praying about his counsel to discern if it was right for my situation, I would have weaned my first child who I had the wonderful opportunity to nurse to 30 months. Eventually, I did wean my first child due to nipple sensitivity when I was 22 weeks pregnant during my second pregnancy. If I had done my gynecologist's advice, I might have weaned her to get my period back,  but it came back on its own naturally at 17 months postpartum. I wouldn't have nursed my first child for as long as I did or even know I could breastfeed during pregnancy if I believed it was impossible to become pregnant while breastfeeding without even trying to see if it was possible for me. Because I know I can, I became pregnant while nursing my second child and breastfeed throughout my third pregnancy.

Will I Become Pregnant Right Away Or Faster If I Wean?

 I do want to say even though weaning sometimes does get some women pregnant the same cycle or next cycle, some moms have weaned and still had to wait for a few or several cycles to become pregnant. Weaning isn't a guarantee that you will get pregnant right away or faster. The results for this vary from woman to woman. It very much has to do with how ready the woman's body is and of course if there are no other fertility or health factors for the woman or the male. Just being deficient in Vitamin D can impact fertility. Having a thin uterine lining, short luteal phase or low progesterone from breastfeeding can impact fertility. Being dehydrated can affect cervical mucus and so forth.

• If I Do Wean, Will I Always Have To Wean?

One first time mom, breastfeeding her first child asked, "Hypothetically If someone has to wean in order to conceive their 2nd child, will they have to wean in order to conceive all children after that, or is that one of the many things that can change from pregnancy to pregnancy?"

My thoughts: While this doesn't answer weaning, this answers from the opposite side. I have seen a pattern in moms who have gotten pregnant while breastfeeding, seemed to be able to become pregnant while breastfeeding again. Likewise, when I went to see my Obstetrician / Gynecologist (not the same one who diagnosed me with Endometriosis) while trying to conceive number three while breastfeeding my second child, he did not offer me fertility help, but felt confident since I had become pregnant once while breastfeeding, I could become pregnant again. And he was right! I did become pregnant again while breastfeeding. That being said, there is no 100% that this will always be the case, just maybe a greater chance that it could be the case for some breastfeeding mothers. 

Below I have an example chart of another breastfeeding mother and me who became pregnant while breastfeeding. For those curious about age, which is not listed in the chart I am including it here. Endo Mom Trying for # 2: Age 23 and Trying for # 3: Age 26.  Mom 1  Trying for # 2: Age 27 and Trying for # 3: Age 30.

Moms	Trying for No.	Postpartum Menstrual	# of Cycles	Breastfeeding
Endo Mom	TTC # 2	17 months	6 out of 9 periods	Did Not Wean
Endo Mom	TTC # 3	almost 11 months	10 cycles	Did Not Wean
Mom 1	TTC # 2	10 months	4 cycles	Did Not Wean
Mom 1	TTC # 3	9 months	1 out of 23 periods	Did Not Wean

I haven't heard much weaning for this one and not the other, but I am sure their stories out there since everyone's experience is different. I think each new chapter in your trying to conceive journey can be different from what it was previously, whether that is for better or worst. However, I think those experiences should influence us for the better, prepare us for the unexpected, but not influence us with fear. With each experience,  I believe we should grow in our knowledge and not limit ourselves to thinking each time we try to conceive will be exactly the same way it was before. So going back to the question of weaning, I think if a woman has the mindset I have to wean each time, but never tries each time to try to conceive while breastfeeding, she will yield the same results - a self-fulfilling prophecy that I can never become pregnant become while breastfeeding. Now, there are some women who really do have to  wean in order to become pregnant and you will know that if you have tried everything.

• Factors that could increase or decrease your success 

How Much Time You Allow

I suppose, it also depends on how much time a mom allowed for trying to conceive while breastfeeding, that could definitely influence if she became pregnant while breastfeeding or not. If someone is only willing to wait for a few cycles or less than a year (since it can take a healthy couple 6-12 months to conceive) before deciding to wean, they may continue to do that, especially if this decision is governed by this is taking too long and I am in my 30s and 40s or the gap is more than I want between my children. I've been able to become pregnant while breastfeeding twice, but I give myself the timeline of trying to conceive while breastfeeding for at least a year and nursing my children to at least 2, so this governs my decisions, and then trying to reduce nursing, changing nursing routine to shock the system *, before I would even consider weaning.  With my first, I breastfed on demand for the first two years, before I gradually reduce nursing sessions at 24 months and became pregnant with number 2 when she was 26 months old.

* Shock the system: What I mean by shock the system, sometimes changes in nursing can trick the body into thinking you have weaned or are nursing less and it may bring your postpartum menstrual and fertility back. This is very much trial and error because every woman's body is different. It could depend on how long the child nurses, how frequently and even the time of day that they nurse, how old the child is and if they are introduced to solids. Some women do this by night weaning. Mothers who breastfeed on the breast and pump may stop pumping.  Other women do this  by cutting out some of their nursing sessions. Some mothers may try to nurse a specific number in a day, such as my OB says it's possible to become pregnant with nursing 3x a day. My first child was 26 months old and nursing around 1-3x a day when I became pregnant with my second child and my second child was 21.5 months old and nursing 3-5x a day when I became pregnant with my third child. None of my children were night weaned when I became pregnant but were sleeping longer through the night, already introduced to solids, and my postpartum menstrual had already returned.

Moms Speak! Some other moms in my breastfeeding group chime in. Names have been changed to protect their identity. Mom, Amelia * says she was nursing her 11-month-old 3x a day, pumping once a day and easily nursing 4x a night when she got pregnant. Mom, Marina * says she was nursing her 13-month-old 3x a day, none at night and just became pregnant.

If You Trust or Doubt The Natural Spacing of Breastfeeding

There is the thought that you can do everything right, but your body will not become pregnant until it is ready. With trying to conceive my second and third, I began trying to conceive long before my postpartum menstrual returned. For number 2, my first was 9 months old when we decided to try - we worried about the fact that I have Endometriosis. We tried unsuccessfully for 8 months and 1 week before my postpartum menstrual returned at 17 months postpartum. We tried for 6 cycles out of 9 periods with a 3-month break between cycle 5 and 6. So I had to adjust my expectations of having children exactly two years apart. Some moms may be disappointed and jump to weaning in hopes of speeding up the process, which may or may not speed it up. 

I became pregnant with my second when my first was 26 months old. When my second was born, my first was 34 months old, almost 3 years apart. I was disappointed at first, but by the time I saw my first and second child playing and interacting with each other, that disappeared. It actually was better than I thought it would be, because my first got almost 3 years as an only child but also has the joy of a sibling. With trying for my third, we started Not Trying Not Preventing and just trying whenever the mood hit when my second was 4 months old until my postpartum period returned 3 days shy of 11 months postpartum. We didn't expect to become pregnant before my postpartum period returned from our previous experience. It took us 10 cycles to become pregnant with our third. It took longer than we hoped, but my second will get almost 2.5 years of being the baby. I no longer distrust my body and breastfeeding with its natural spacing, because I've enjoyed the results when my babies were born. And maybe my body knew I'd be better with these gaps, instead of having children two years apart or sooner.

• Final Words

I am not trying to influence your decision either way for whether you wean or not, but this is just food for though if you are trying to conceive while breastfeeding and maybe wondering if you will have to wean or not. At the end of the day, you have to do what you think is best for your situation.