2nd: Birth

Unplanned Unassisted Birth: Vaginal Birth Un-Medicated

Active Labor & Delivery: 1.5 hours

Total Time: 1.5 hours

Second Labor & Delivery

For my second delivery, I wanted to attempt an unmedicated birth. I felt like I got the epidural during my first birth because I didn't know how long I was going to be in pain for. I don't feel like I am someone with a high tolerance for pain. So not knowing how long I would be in pain for made it difficult for me to consider an un-medicated birth. However, my quick labor and delivery with my first made me realize the possibility of being able to go without medicine. I started to seriously consider trying an un-medicated birth. I want to be clear that my reasons for doing an un-medicated birth aren't because my first experience or hospital birth was horrific. I felt as a first time mom unsure of what to expect from my body, not wanting to be in pain or be in pain for a long time, prepared with a basic amount of information for an average medicated birth - it was perfect. The end result was a healthy mom and baby, no complications, a very quick labor and delivery and mostly pain-free throughout the entire experience. I was hoping my second birth could be even better or equally as good although I was going to be attempting to give birth in a different way than I had done previously.

Wanting to try an unmedicated birth was definitely a strength building opportunity in my relationship with my spouse. When I first approached him with my desires for an un-medicated birth he was kind of taken aback by this news. His idea of a great birth experience was a medicated birth at the hospital. He wondered, why are we fixing something that isn't broken? After feeling 2 hours of pre-labor and the horrible pain I was in, why would I want to feel pain for the entire labor and delivery? I guess the best way I can explain it, is I feel birth is such a beautiful and amazing thing, that I want to be able to experience it, at least, a few times and in different ways. It took some compromises for us as a couple to find a happy medium. We felt I am the one giving birth, but it is also the birth of our child that we are both experiencing together, him as the father and me as the mother. My spouse was unsure about a midwife and a doula and birthing outside of the hospital. He felt the hospital was safer although not perfect and didn't want to see me in pain. While I wanted the opportunity to experience an un-medicated birth, we agreed to keep the obstetrician we used for our first birth (who seemed supportive of our birth plan) and to give birth in the same hospital. But this time, I would be attempting it without medicine, be in a place where if something went wrong we could receive help and I could have access to medicine if I changed my mind.

 I know some women might wonder, why I didn't push harder in an attempt to make my spouse see why an un-medicated birth would be better than medicated? Why a midwife and doula and birthing center or home birth increased our chances of success more than a hospital? Or simply say my body, my birth, my way. My personal feelings on it are, I know "forcing" him to see something he wasn't sure about wouldn't be helpful in changing his mind about un-medicated. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.  I felt if my spouse was going to come around he needed to see it for himself or, at least, see how happy it makes me. I would let the birth be the proof. We took an 8 week Bradley method class taught by a doula, where I learned about how productive pain is and how to cope with it and he learned how to be my support coach and advocate.  We agreed if this birth was successful and I wanted to do unmedicated again then we would. He was on board for a future birth to be a home water birth with a midwife and a doula, as long as the subsequent pregnancy was uncomplicated. Similar to my first and second pregnancy. My overall feelings on the compromise are that it considers both of our feelings. I knew I would do everything in my power to prepare for and give my best efforts during the birth. That way if it was unsuccessful, it wasn't a lack of trying. I feel if an un-medicated birth was meant to be for us, then all my prayers, preparation and determination would make help me accomplish an uncomplicated birth.

"It always seems impossible, until it's done." - Nelson Mandela

Active Labor:  Prior to my doctor's visit, I had been having diarrhea for a few days. I had also lost a couple of pounds. All signs of nearing labor. I went to my doctor's office at 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant and got my membranes stripped. I was 4 cm dilated, 100% effaced but not in active labor because I was not having any contractions. I had mild cramping all day after the stripping. Slightly before labor started my cramping got stronger and a little more painful. Later that evening, my mother asked if I was timing it. I said I wasn't feeling contractions, but would start counting the moment I did. I asked my husband for a blessing to be able to handle an un-medicated birth as the cramping started to become more painful.

Around 8:20-8:30 pm, the cramping turned into a strong pain. The pain was all around my stomach and my stomach was tightening and releasing. The pain began to feel strongly similar to menstrual cramps. Not the all day mild cramping that began after having my membranes stripped. I had my husband time it as I waited for the pain and the stomach to harden and release. He said my contractions were 3 mins apart. At that point,  I knew labor was starting. After just a few mins of contractions, I got hit with diarrhea. Sometimes diarrhea can come when a woman is in labor. It is said to be the body's way of clearing itself before having the baby.

When the contractions started, which felt like menstrual cramp waves of pain coming and going I started to sit on the toilet hunched over. Another sign I was in labor. When I was pregnant with my daughter I started 2 hours of pre-labor with the bloody show.  Before I left for the hospital where I started active labor, I kept sitting hunched over the toilet in pain. And here I was repeating the same thing.

An actual photo of my printed Birth Plan

As soon as I was able, I decided I needed to try to follow my goals to labor at home for as long as possible. I tried to take a shower, letting the top shower head run over my back.  Holding the handheld shower over my stomach, chanting 6 more cm to go. I kept getting out of the shower to go sit hunched over the toilet when my husband suggested taking a warm bath. After sitting hunched on the toilet for a short time, I tried to sit in the bath. The contractions kept coming in waves and I found myself unable to be soothed by anything. I tried walking but found it very hard to do. I only got a break when the contractions went away before coming back in a wave of pain. At some point, I started making grunting sounds. In between contractions, I kept saying to my husband, "I don't know if I can do an un-medicated birth. If we get to the hospital and they say I am still 4 cm dilated, I will get the epidural."

With how much pain I was in, my husband decided we should try to go to the hospital. It was a slow process to get me to get dressed. When my husband offered me my clothes, I told him, "I don't want my bra or underwear. I don't want my shoes on. I'll wear the dress." So I slowly rose from the toilet and slowly got into my dress. I slowly made my way from the hall to the door, down the stairs, and into our car. It was a slow process because I would grunt "Ohhhh" until the 3 mins of contractions were done. Then move as quick as I was able until they came back. I had many pauses between squatting down in front of the door and stairs and sidewalk, where I squatted and grunted through contractions, even emptied my bladder during the process a few times.

Signs that were used to mark off where my water broke
and where I delivered the baby
that someone had to clean in the waiting room

The 5 min ride to the hospital felt long. I pushed the seat down and positioned myself in a hands and knees position. I groaned "Ohhhh" every time the contractions started. I refused to sit down with my seat belt on, as I had done with my first. In between contractions, I kept telling my husband if we weren't close to being done, I was going to need an epidural. As soon as we arrived at the hospital and I was able, I moved as fast as I could towards the stairs. I squatted on the stairs grunting through contractions and emptied my bladder.

As soon as we got inside the labor and delivery waiting room, I felt a tight pressure. I told my husband in between contractions, "I can't walk." My husband called on the phone and informed the nurse, "My wife is in labor and she can not walk." As the nurse went to find a wheelchair before letting me in, my husband came to stand near me. He was holding our toddler as I grabbed his arm and literally started shaking. The pressure was very strong and I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement.

 I started to push through the pain. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. To my surprise as I stood and pushed, I felt my baby's head come out a little. Then a gush of fluid. My water breaking. Nature took over my fear. I squatted down a little above the ground and kept pushing, and pushed the rest of my baby's body out. Within seconds, I held my baby in my trembling hands. The entire time I pushed him out, he did not fall onto the ground. After he was out, I set him down. Clearly in shock.

My husband put our toddler down, picked up our baby. I sat on the ground saying nothing. He handed our baby to me. When the nurse came out with the wheelchair my husband shouted, "My wife delivered the baby on the floor in the waiting room. I think he bumped his head."

My second baby was born at 10:02 pm in the waiting room of labor and delivery in front of the labor and delivery doors. Delivering the baby actually felt more like a relief, because the contractions I had been feeling stopped. The intense contractions were replaced by a lesser pain which was mostly pressure. My husband was standing slightly in front of me while I was squatting and delivering the baby. From his perspective, I went low to floor and a second later pulled the baby from out of my dress. He said he did not hear me say to him what I remember saying, but probably more to myself. "There's the baby's head. My water just broke."

The Labor and Delivery Room baby and I were wheeled into

 A sea of nurses came rushing to our aid after that. I had one nurse holding the wheelchair. Two nurses helping me stand by holding each arm as I was holding the baby in my arms. I whined, "No.
I didn't want to stand. I just wanted to sit. The nurses kept saying, "You've already done the hard part." They had to be careful while moving us because the baby was still attached to the placenta and the placenta was still inside my body undelivered. 

It limits how fast we could move me from the floor into a stand position. Then from standing into a slow lowering into the wheelchair. The nurses rolled me into labor and delivery where they slowly helped me get into a bed. Snip. They cut the umbilical cord. A nurse asked to take the baby because he had his first stool. Neither they or I  were able to tell if he had passed the stool before or after his head had come out. This could be dangerous.
 My son was observed in the same room as I waited for my obstetrician. The nurses called my doctor to explain I had delivered the baby without a doctor or nurse in the labor and delivery waiting room. Then my son was weighed. 8 lbs and 2 oz. The same size as my first baby did. How is that even possible?

While waiting for my obstetrician to arrive, I asked the nurse for pain medicine. They reminded me I had already done the hard part. I was still cramping while waiting for the placenta to be delivered. So the nurse gave me a shot of Demerol in my bottom. When my obstetrician arrived, he finally delivered the placenta. He checked for a tear. I had torn. Again. Like with my first.

He injected several areas with a long needle that pinched. After the first few, the area was numb. I could no longer really feel all the pinches of the areas he continued to numb. All the while my husband tended to our toddler since his mom and sister were still trying to make it to the hospital. My obstetrician stitched me up and they handed my baby to me where I said I wanted to delay giving him a bath. We did skin to skin and started trying to breastfeed.

Our family arrived at some point and helped tended my toddler. I reassured her I was okay. That the doctor was just helping mom feel better. My daughter received her big sister bag that my mother in law helped her open and distract her from the active delivery room. My sister in law took quick photos of the scene the nurses were cleaning. My husband called my mother to deliver a cryptic message, "She had the baby on the floor. She'll call you back."

After I received a new gown and cleaned up. The nurses switched me to a new bed. Baby was placed in the bassinet after being cleaned up and dressed. He was pushed by my husband as I was pushed by the nurse to mom and baby.

Baby's Bassinet during our 18 hr. hospital stay

My close friend who is a midwife told me generally when things go fast, it's because nothing is wrong. As it was in my case. I was relieved that nature knew what it was doing and instinctually I knew what to do when the time came. Our baby who had passed his first stool either in the womb or when he was being delivered was thankfully able to stay in the room while they observed him. He didn't need any help breathing and didn't have to go to the NICU for observations. It is assumed he probably had passed the stool as he was being delivered and his head was already coming out.

The second time around I was even more prepared than the first time and had a quick, unplanned unassisted birth. Unlike my first hospital delivery, there is not a pretty succession of my last pregnancy photo to my labor and delivery photos and our happy first family picture. There is a gap between my 38-week pregnancy photo to our post placenta hospital photos. I said I wanted an un-medicated birth and boy did I get one. I guess be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. 

Some may wonder how something like this can even happen. Or how did I not know I was in active labor. There are a couple of reasons. 

1. Not in Active Labor

During my last appointment, my OB stripped my membranes and I was 4 cm dilated and 100 effaced. without feeling having regular contractions. I was not in active labor, so OB did not send me to the hospital. We didn't how long it would be and I didn't go into active labor until that night.

2. I Never Felt Birth Unmedicated

With my first baby, I had the epidural placed at 3 cm at the start of active labor.  I didn't know to go to the hospital sooner because I had never felt active labor and transitioning unmedicated. I didn't realize that was happening when I hit that wall and said I couldn't do it anymore, grunting feral sounds, and not wanting to wear clothes. 

3. Shorter and Quicker Birth

Once my husband realized I was checking off all the boxes, we did the five-minute ride to the hospital, but it was too late. My first delivery, I had 2 hours of pre-labor with the bloody show starting and 5 hours of active labor and delivery. However, in my second delivery, active labor was only 1.5 hours. If it had been even 10 minutes longer, I would have been able to do a quick delivery inside labor and delivery.

My "Delivery Dress" brought home from the hospital.
Because of how quick the birth was, I never changed into a gown.

Overall, I am happy with how everything turned out. I know now I can handle an un-medicated birth and my body will know what to do. All of the challenges I worried about with attempting an unmedicated birth in the hospital, never had a chance to happen. As one of my family members pointed out, I got most of the things I wanted, an un-medicated "hospital birth", a chance to push a different way than on my back, delayed cord clamping and skin to skin, delayed bathing, and a healthy mom and baby most importantly. My only disappointment is the lack of photos I have to remember the actual delivery.

 Photo from my baby shower. A onesie decorating activity.

Believe it or not, there have been other mothers who have had births similar to my second. The Bump has an article about a photographer catching an unplanned birth outside of labor and delivery.

Last Edited: September 30, 2018