An Example To My Children
One big reason I decided to go on this hair journey and to give going natural another try is because I am an example to my children, especially to my daughter (and future daughters). I have to break the cycle of disliking the hair you have, to stop going through that love-hate-relationship with it and wanting it to be like other people's. Truth is, we all may have things we would like to change about ourselves, but no amount of changing it is going to teach you how to love it. Often times it is said individuals who do not learn to love first, will often make changes but with little and temporary happiness. Only a superficial layer of the problem is fixed, but not the core of it. How can you be an example of loving the skin you're in, the hair you've been given, loving all that God has blessed you with, if you are in the midst of your own hair war, learning to dress a postpartum body, finding breastfeeding friendly clothes that are functional and modest and overall dealing with your own personal issues if you don't love everything about you? You can't. The first place change has to start is with one's self. So as that famous Michael Jackson song says, "I'm starting with the [wo]man in the mirror, asking him (or her) to change his (or her) ways."
I Want to Learn How To Love My Hair
I've gone through so many different phases with my hair. As an elementary school child my hair was mostly natural until my mom and I caved and got a relaxer to help manage my hair. I saw all of my friends had straight hair, while mine seemed unruly and puffy out of braids or confined by the routine of two braided pig tails or one long braid every single day. I liked that when my hair was wet the water weighed down my curls and they looked spiral like. But I disliked when my natural curly hair was dry, my hair became a puff ball. The relaxer helped me achieve straight and sleek, but of course it was a chemical damaging my hair and required me having to rely on a relaxer every 4 months, 3 times a year. My hair was still considered long, but over the years it stayed at a certain length. I disliked that it never seemed to grow, although I enjoyed having straight hair that was easy to manage. It was a love-hate relationship. There were things I liked and didn't like, but I didn't love it. While transitioning from relaxer to my natural hair, it was hard to let go of the relaxed ends. But it was hard not being able to just have my curls and staying in the middle ground. It was also hard wanting long hair and having to see my hair shorter than I felt comfortable with. That's when I decided, I want to not just know how to manage or tolerate my hair, I want to love it too. Love it the same way you love your body. Your hair is an extension of yourself. It doesn't make sense to dislike a part of yourself if your goal is to love all of yourself.
See my hair photos here.
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