Why?
So we decided to go team green for our third pregnancy since we had one of each sex. We waited until delivery to find out our surprise tie breaker, although we had already chosen one boy and one girl name. I have heard not knowing the sex of the baby can really add to the birth for some people and had decided when we became pregnant with our second baby, if our second was a boy and we had one of each, we should be surprised if blessed with a third.
How Was It?
Going Team Green was freaking hard. (Excuse my language). Sheer determination is all that kept me from calling a local ultrasound studio for an elective ultrasound and finding out baby's sex after we passed 20 weeks. Hats off to people who do it and actually like being surprised at the end. At one point the midwives said if I was stressed about not knowing the sex to find out, but I was already 30 something weeks and felt like I made it this long. I'm not going to have put myself through all this time just to cave in at the end. I was determined to see it through.
Did It Add To Your Birth?
Unfortunately, I was not one of those people, where finding out at the birth added to my birth experience. When I was in labor and delivery, between 4-6 cm, I focused on meeting my baby and finding out the sex. But once I got to 7-9 before they let me start pushing (yes, at 9 cm they let me start pushing through the little bit of cervix left, because I was exhausted), I only cared about getting my baby out. And then all I cared about was seeing a healthy baby when they placed my baby on my chest. The sex was announced before I got to look. I was just relieved I had survived my longest unmedicated delivery and baby was finally born. In hindsight, it was my longest delivery, but not super long. It was 7 hours and 10 minutes from the time they broke my water at 5 cm to kick my labor into high gear, leaking lots of fluid, active labor, pushing, and delivery.
My husband felt like he bonded less with our team green baby because we didn't know the sex and weren't calling my bump by the chosen name for 20 weeks as we did for the others. I think for men, it's harder to bond when the baby is still in the womb since they don't feel everything. Another factor for my third pregnancy is my husband didn't go to all the OB or Midwife appointments with me since he often stayed home with our other children or was at work. That's the first pregnancy where he wasn't at almost every appointment. So I think he really only got excited with feeling baby kicks, seeing our baby move, seeing the first ultrasound and occasionally the heartbeat on the doppler. He even missed the 20-week ultrasound, because he had to work. I think all of that played a factor for him then not just knowing the sex.
Would You Ever Go Team Green Again?
I don't know what the future holds for sure. If we are blessed with more children, right now I don't think I would do team green again. My husband personally does not want to do team green again. I think I prefer to find out. I'd prefer to have other people surprise, so maybe like do team yellow, where we find out and make everyone else wait until the birth or do gender reveals where we still find out during the pregnancy, but not at the ultrasound.
2019 Edit: Three years after our "team green" baby, my husband said if I ever wanted to do it again, he would be more supportive and enthusiastic about it. I am currently thinking if I would go team green again if blessed with another child. It's tempting to try again now that I have the knowledge of why we weren't ready to do it the first time.
Best Team Green Advice
This is the advice I wish I heard before deciding whether or not to go Team Green. One Facebook user said, Don't if you're wanting a specific gender. Waiting won't make your wish come true and it might create a sour moment when it should be a complete joy."
Why We Weren't Ready for Team Green the First Time Around
It's 2019 and the advice above I wish I had heard before deciding whether or not to go team green in 2016. Two huge reasons going team green didn't work for me is one I was hoping for specific sex for my baby and two I was hoping for a specific sex, so I didn't have to deal with my circumcision regret feelings. I had so much circumcision regret with my first son that I was hoping for another girl. I believed finding out I was having another boy would trigger all those failure feelings, even though my husband and I had made the decision not to circumcise. I think there was so much anxiety about the possibility of having a boy and having to face that this created the stress my midwives noticed. I needed the advice that if you aren't 100% okay with having either sex, this is not for you and right now you are not in that place for it.
Last Edited: May 13, 2019
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