Sometimes I would say to myself, my kiddo(s) can make some big messes. But that's just typical kid behavior, right? It's my job as the parent to teach them how to clean these messes up.
So, I did the usual. Organize the toys. Label them. Give up and give them a big storage bin they can just toss the toys in. I helped them clean up. I tried to show that working hard and cleaning up could be fun. We sang the cleanup song in many variations. I played music as we worked. I got chore charts. We cleaned a little at a time with many breaks in between. We saved the big cleanups for the end of the day. I asked many times.
We made games out of it. I offered reward coupons for excellent behavior I had noticed throughout a day or week without prompting. We cleaned up first to earn whatever special activity or show we were going to do/watch for the day. I made sure to praise. I tried to lead by my own example. I explained to them to only make messes they could clean, in a sense a mess for their size. We read books about the importance of cleaning up and following the rules.
My cheery attitude and creative ways began to falter over time as one kid became two, and two became three. The messes and destruction began to grow. Picture this. Numerous of toys scattered on bedroom floors, hallways, and stairs. Overflowing toys bins. Small scribbles and doodles over the walls and doors. Milk of magnesium all over a wall, ceiling fan and covering a brand-new nursing chair. Yeah, that really happened. (Long story short, I heard milk of magnesium is great for diaper rashes. So, I poured half of a bottle into a spray bottle and set it with my diaper accessories. My children saw me use it and thought it would be a cool toy. Climbed the changing table and within a few minutes emptied an entire bottle when I was out of the room and distracted elsewhere.) Or a child having a tantrum and throwing a new toy that either broke or got banged up. Even drawing on new toys. Despite taking away crayons and markers repeatedly.
I spent so much time cleaning up my children's messes, it felt like I never had much time for the real housework in my home. I was exhausted before I made it to the dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, gathering the trash, vacuuming, dusting, wiping down the counters, scrubbing toilets, sinks, and showers… I felt frustrated. What else could I do, that I have not already thought of to encourage, inspire, simplify, and make it fun? I googled more ideas and tried even harder.
I did not want to lose patience or raise my voice at my children that I love dearly and had frequently prayed for. I didn’t want to argue with my spouse about reading parenting manuals or defensively explain why our home was not tidy. I didn’t like feeling like a failure, or thinking others thought this of me. I did not want to be a burned out stay at home mom. I've been blessed to be a stay at home mom since being pregnant with my first child. It's very easy to become burned out if you're not taking care of yourself or stretching yourself too thin. I'm also a full-time college student. I have been in college while growing my family. Two things that require much time, dedication, and energy.
Then this morning as I was getting my eldest child and myself ready for school, I came across an article called Why I Took My Kids' Toys & Why They Won't Get Them Back (2012) through Pinterest. It has been my goal to try to read more parenting-related articles to better my parenting skills. The article resonated with me. The author articulated my power struggle with cleaning up. In the past, my parenting groups had said the culprit was too many toys. I was convinced with proper organization, making it fun, and my children getting older it would improve. This was not the case for my children and me.
Today my husband was off. We both asked our children to listen and clean up the mess they had made the night before. We told them we would be taking their toys if they did not. “All of them?” Our young children (6 and 3) asked in amazement.
“Yes.”
My children did not clean up. With a heavy heart, I looked at my spouse and asked. “Are we were really going to do this?” We had said we would do it more times than I care to admit in the past and did not follow through. We weren’t ready before. But for some reason today we finally were. We had enough of the power struggle and watching our children disrespect their toys and desire for more for a few years now. Quietly we began packing the toys. Our children watched for a while, and similar to the children in the article they began to help us make the trip from their bedrooms upstairs and down the stairs to the garage.
We took the baby’s toys into two bins to go into our closet so we could still give them to our baby to play with. As for our older children, everything down to the doll house furniture and Barbie shoe went into the garage in multiple of big toy boxes and bins. The play structure and tent as part of the mini play area dismantled. Their rooms looked bare. With the missing toys, it looked like we were moving.
My next thought was what now? We’ve taken it all. This article had no update. However, the comment section was filled with great ideas of how the children could earn back and rediscover their toys. As well as when Christmas time came, it was okay to receive a few things and leave some old ones for Santa to take to other children who needed them.
As part of my own idea, I decided to write family and friends a letter thanking them for 6 years of toys and asked if they would help us this year reach our goals of things our family really wanted to do, such as trips to water parks and zoos. I explained we wanted to make memories and raise grateful children. We knew this might not be well received by all, but felt this was important enough to try and to be open about our struggle.
Last Edited: January 30, 2017
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