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Question: Would you teach your children to date within their own race?

My short answer is NO!

My long response is...I think there are challenges to marrying outside of your race, speaking from the experience as someone in an interracial marriage that maybe someone in the same race marriage may not experience. However, marriage is hard work regardless of race.

Even if you marry within your own race there are still going to be challenges that occur whether you marry in or out of your race. For example, you may not get along with your in-laws. That's not limited to marrying outside of your race or in your race. Couples may have different parenting styles, regardless if they are the same race or not.

I agree with those who believe teaching your child to marry within a race is bias. Just because a person is the same race or different race doesn't mean they are going to treat your child with the respect they deserve. It's about teaching them to find someone who treats them right. Someone who loves and honors and respects them.

True love sees no color. My children are biracial (Black & White) and I would be excited whether they married someone who is Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Indian... whatever race if they treat my child right.

I think we need to be asking ourselves how do we prepare our children for dating and marriage, so they can make wise choices and so that they are prepared to have a successful and good relationship. It's not always easy to be in a relationship, and if you come unprepared for the responsibility it's going to be a lot harder. Strong and good relationships/marriages do not just happen, you have to put in the work to get out what you want.

 I asked this same question to my husband's sister. My sister in law has a spouse of the same race, but a transracial family through adoption. One of their sons is not only adopted but a different race than the rest of her family. Her focus is not what color her children should marry, but the importance of choosing a partner who is a good match.

Last Edited: June 30, 2017
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