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Risks to Not Having Open Discussions about Sex

Learning On Your Own
Are there risks to not having open discussions about sex? I definitely believe so. When a young person is not given information about sex, they may eventually learn about it and other sexual and intimate practices on their own. While I do think a lot of the sexual lessons are learned through personal trials and errors, I also think there needs to be a strong foundation for those to be added to first.

It makes you wonder. If there are no open conversations about sex, is anything else being talked about? 
I have an example of a nonsexual practice I was introduced to that my parents never discussed with me. Kissing. Even though I was shy and didn't participate, I was introduced to kissing games in my early years. I knew what kissing was, but can't say I was mature enough to be introduced to it or had the courage to kiss someone. I mean up until fourth or fifth grade, my classmates and I were still chanting the opposite sex had cooties and innocently singing, "Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me".

The two kissing games I learned about are Spin the Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven. Spin the Bottle is a game where the players sit in a circle around a bottle or some other item that can spin and point, like a soda can. One person spins. When the item stops spinning, whoever it is pointing at is who the spinner kisses. This continues until every person in the circle has had a turn. There may be rules where it can only point at the opposite sex. That depends on the group playing and what rules they create for their game.

In sixth grade around the ages of 11-12, I was introduced to a game called Seven Minutes In Heaven. This game is where two individuals go into a closet or room, such as a bedroom or bathroom, to kiss or make out for seven minutes. Kissing does not always occur. It can be awkward to kiss when your peers are on the other side of the door waiting. Sometimes this can be chosen as a dare (a task someone is dared to do) from the game Truth or Dare. 

I can honestly say I was not ready for kissing games, making out, or sex yet at this age. But conversations to address new milestones, such as liking a boy, wanting him to notice me, maybe even wanting him to kiss me would have been extremely helpful in that turning point.

 Last Edited: December 29, 2018

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