Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash
I have noticed that there are a number of Christian women, especially in the Latter-Day Saint culture * who often postpone their educations or careers to stay at home with their children that find themselves facing big educational and employment decisions after separating and/or divorcing a partner. Often wondering if pursuing an education in their new life as a divorced woman and mother is worth it? After reflecting on my own experiences in these roles, I believe it is worth pursuing an education, whether a woman is a married stay-at-home mom, a separated mama trying to find her way, or beginning life as a divorced mother.
- The Married Stay At Home Mom -
I was a stay-at-home mom (20-28 years old) until my third child was around a year old during my marriage, but I continued to pursue my education. It was a slow and steady success. My degrees should have taken me 4-6 years * under ideal circumstances, but easily took me 10 years to complete for various reasons that included, but were not limited to having young children and a lack of affordable childcare *.
I obtained my high school diploma in 2007, then my Nursing Assistant Certification in 2009 after the completion of my classes. But I graduated with three degrees, an Associate of Science, an Associate of Applied Science in Early Childhood Education, and a Bachelor of Science in English with a creative writing emphasis in 2019 at 30 years old. That's 12 years after my high school diploma and 10 years after my nursing assistant certification! There were many times I wanted to give up, especially as I watched others graduate knowing I still had a long road ahead of me. But I understood the importance of having an education and I often said during that time, that even if my goal was to remain a stay-at-home mom, I would be an educated one.
I remember hearing from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints the importance of preparing. That life could leave me divorced, widowed, with a sick, and/or disabled spouse and I would have to become the provider for my children or family. I knew I could never stop going to school because once I did, it would be hard to return. After 11 years of marriage and 3 children, I knew a completed degree would either help my family or help me on a new journey as a single mother.
- The Separated Mama -
It was a wise decision for me to stay in school. I separated from my husband in May 2020 and relocated with my children to another state that had more educational opportunities. He relocated 6 months after to be closer to our children. As I write this, it is now January 2022 and we have been living in two different households for 20 months.
I am in year 2 of a 3-year program that will help me earn my state certifications as a teacher. I work full time as a special education teacher during the week and on Saturdays, for several hours I take my classes. By doing this program, I increased my income from $15/ an hour to almost twice the amount. I also went from working part-time to full-time. Just like I knew it was worth it then, I must believe it is still worth pursuing my education while I enter a new stage of life as a divorced woman and mother.
- Foot Notes -
1 * = It is possible that this issue is more prevalent with women in the Latter Day Saint culture in the state of Utah than in other states. That may also be, because other states may have lower numbers of Latter-Day Saint members and families compared to the Western States, Utah and Idaho.
2 * = I counted each degree for an estimated time of two years. That is where I got a total of 6 years.
3 * = Some issues mothers with young children run into while attending college are childcare-related. I've included 2 articles that touch on this struggle from a growing university in Southern Utah, my alma mater, Dixie State University.
- Additional Resources -
- A University's Need for Childcare Services
- Administration Strives to Find Childcare Issues Over Time
Last Edited: January 10, 2022
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