Separation Update (2022)

Separation Update

I have been separated for almost 2 years. One reason my process is longer is that I relocated from one state to another, to be closer to my family. I had to have 6 months of residency before I could file in my current state. But the biggest reason is that I am shouldering all the costs of taking care of my three children, paying for the divorce, and my three-year teaching program.

Since I am still legally married, at this point I do not get alimony or child support. That means I am unable to force him to help pay for childcare-related expenses, such as afterschool programs, babysitters, and daycares that we both benefit from as working parents. Or groceries, diapers, and wipes. But he can choose on his own to help.

You could say, my start in teaching feels like divine intervention. I am grateful that during this separation and divorce process, I was able to find a program that would allow me to use my Bachelor of Science in English to begin a career in teaching. I am in my second year of this program. The starting salary of my teaching position is almost $15 more than my part-time retail job. And rumor has it, by next school year all teaching positions will see an increase. I specifically heard that I could be making $32.50 more than I was making in retail. I pray this is true for me, as I am a newer hire.

Despite my hard work and effort, a lot of times I live paycheck to paycheck. I am embarrassed to admit that I require support with paying for rent, electricity, and water. And the downside of the separation is wondering, when will this divorce be finalized?

I already fulfilled my 6 months of residency, did mediation, and paid for the divorce paperwork and parenting plan. It cost $3,012. Next, I must pay a filing fee of $408 and take a parenting class that costs $50. When I am done, that means my divorce will cost $3,740!

But every time, I start to save money for the filing fee, my finite finances must cover large payments, such as a car payment ($211) and car insurance ($345) going through at the same time. Or an overdraft in my checking account.

Recently it was -$150. And my savings had $167. Now my checking has a whopping 25 cents, and my savings is $16 until my next paycheck in a week. And I am back to the beginning of saving as I can't afford to lose $408 from a paycheck at one time.

Additional Resources:

Recording Your Spouse During Divorce: Think Twice Before Hitting the Record Button - Divorce Magazine

Last Edited: April 5,2022

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