How I Feel During Sad Days

On my low days during my second separation, I will have moments where I hyper-focus on the fact that I am separated and getting a divorce. And how both situations leave me without a partner. On those bad days, I wish desperately my marriage to my children’s father could have been better. So I wouldn’t have to go through this.

Other times, I wish this chapter of my life was already closed. And I can instantly be somewhere in the future, where I have a new partner who will help me raise and take care of my kids. A partner to hold me on sad days and listen to my feelings. In my opinion, something I desired but missed out on in my first marriage. I think these can be normal feelings and part of the grieving process for some individuals.

For me, the important part is to work through those feelings and not dwell too long in that doubtful space. My doubtful space is where I am constantly asking God why? Why this trial? How long must I endure it? I tend to feel lost and disconnected from my religious convictions if I stay in that headspace too long.

Last Edited: January 17, 2021

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