Unfolding Dreams

Photo by  Alysha Rosly  on  Unsplash   The Doubt in Starting Over   I often ask myself how am I going to find a new partner? I currently live in a state that does not have a lot of single members in my religion. I knew this since I was a young adult. When I was 19, I left my home state after a year of community college and went to attend Brigham Young University in Idaho. This is where I found my current spouse. Then we married, relocated to his home state, and eventually had three children together. When I relocated back to my home state with my children for the separation, I intentionally chose a different area with a larger city to live in, because I had family in the area. In addition, I had hoped I might find more single members when the time is right. From reading posts in online support groups, I understood for many single parents online dating seems to be the fastest way to find potential partners locally and nearby.  I’ll be honest that o...

Photo by  Hello I'm Nik  on  Unsplash   Separation Update   I have been separated for almost 2 years. One reason my process is longer is that I relocated from one state to another, to be closer to my family. I had to have 6 months of residency before I could file in my current state. But the biggest reason is that I am shouldering all the costs of taking care of my three children, paying for the divorce, and my three-year teaching program. Since I am still legally married, at this point I do not get alimony or child support. That means I am unable to force him to help pay for childcare-related expenses, such as afterschool programs, babysitters, and daycares that we both benefit from as working parents. Or groceries, diapers, and wipes. But he can choose on his own to help. You could say, my start in teaching feels like divine intervention.  I am grateful that during this separation and divorce process, I was able to find a program that would allow ...

  Photo by  Jeremy Bezanger  on  Unsplash Dating while Separated?             Have you ever wondered about this? I will be honest. I am curious about this myself. I know most Christian recommendations are  waiting until you are officially divorced . And I know this is much easier said than done for women who are going through long separations and divorces, such as myself.  At the beginning of my separation, I always explained I am a “single” separated mom. But legally married. I often used that to help turn down dating offers. Sometimes it was easy. Other times it was hard. Occasionally, I wondered what could’ve happened if I had said yes.   These thoughts give me mixed feelings. How can you start a new chapter when you haven’t finished the one before it? And isn’t it less messy if you wait? Or is it all messy anyway? But now my thoughts go to what happens when this process is more than a few mo...